È tempo di rotolare i dadi
by IcyTanya
Summary: When Seto finally tires of reporters making up wild stories about his past, he announces that he’ll marry the first person who’s able to find out about his past. Stupid thing to do, no? What happens when the news reaches Yami? And Mokuba wants what!
1. Chapter 1

Alright. Firstly I'm sorry for the enormous time I spent in NOT updating anything but I'm trying to break that block now.

Story Name: È tempo di rotolare i dadi (It's time to roll the dice)  
Story Summary: When Seto finally tires of reporters making up wild stories about his past and speculating on who his next girlfriend or boyfriend might be, he announces that he'll marry the first person who's able to find out about his past. Stupid thing to do, no? What happens when this news reaches Yami?  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! No material gain is being made from this fiction.  
A/N- I'm assuming that most of them were 16 in the year 1996 and Kaiba was 18 then.

* * *

The year was 2003 and it was the coolest summer in a long time. This year, even during the hottest days of June, one could wear a jacket and not look weird. The gang had grown up and all gone their own ways. Jounouchi had discovered a gift for cooking and at age 23 wassaving up for his own restaurant while working as Head-Chef in one of the biggest hotels in Los Angelos, otherwise he was still the same kind and loyal goofball. 

Honda had surprisingly enough, gone in for software technology and was working for someone else's company while courting Shizuka, he was happy as he was with his modest tastes more than fulfilled by his job.

Yugi had taken over his Grandpa's store some years back when he finally got too old to stand around and serve customers. Through careful investments he had also started up a successful chain of stores in the surrounding cities. Ryou had taken after his father and was currently in Mesopotamia at a dig and his other half went everywhere with him and was nowadays fiercely protective of him.

Yami no Yugi himself (going under Yami Mutou ever since the fateful day when he had used the Millennium Items' power to get his own body) had done his GCSE and then gone in for management and was doing very well indeed which wasn't so odd when you realized he had been managing a whole kingdom at quite a young age and had been brought up to it. Currently, he was taking a well-earned two-week vacation and had come to visit his other half. Anzu had done what she had always wanted to and after finishing her studies in a NY dancing school had done an immensely popular series of stage shows and was now doing ballet shows and was also thinking of taking up an offer for a TV show.

The real surprise was Malik and Marik who had, under their sister's sponsorship opened up an amusement park which was popular enough to rival Disneyland, thankfully not in Domino itself or else Kaiba would have bought them out for sure. Mokuba was following in his brother's footsteps though only academically, he still remained the only person to force Seto away from his laptop and live to tell the tale. All of which was very nice but still didn't explain why Yami was looking at the Sunday morning special newspaper with eyes that would have put a cricket ball to shame.

Nor why there appeared to be coffee all over the table where he was sitting. Regurgitated coffee no less. But maybe reading the article he was staring at would help?

_Seto Kaiba, voted Number 1 for the third time as the Most Eligible Bachelor in __Femina magazine, has now declared publicly that he will marry the first woman __(or in this case person) to actually find out everything about his past._

_When questioned about this decision, he said that he was tired of everyone speculating about where he came from so he thought this would be the best way to solve everything since he himself did not have the time._

_Mr. Kaiba has come out of the closet only …_

But Yami had stopped reading, right at that moment the only thought in his head was, _'Has he gone completely mad! He could end up being married to his maid, or a fat woman with three children and thirty Pekingese!'_ He tried to stop himself, really he did. I mean, how funny was it when someone went crazy right in front of your eyes? Unless it was your arch-rival of course-Yami started laughing helplessly at theweb of idiocyhis'acquaintance' hadmanaged to get himself into.

'_Well, as Jou would say, he made the cake, now he gotta eat it. It's nothing to do with me. Though I suppose I could call up Mokuba and ask him whether I should reserve a bed at the local asylum.' _Smirking he poured out another cupful of coffee when the phone rang. Groaning grumpily he walked to cordless, since his grandpa was sleeping and Yugi had gone off to work.

"Moshi moshi?" he said, uh…make it snapped into the receiver.  
"Yami, it's me," came a rather hyperactive voice. Yami immediately cooled down, it would be a very hard-hearted person who could stay mad at the boy that voice belonged to.  
"So I see, Mokuba. How are you?" He walked back to the table with a rag, and started wiping off the coffee.  
"Where are you right now?" Mokuba asked insistently  
"I'm on holiday in Domino. Is something wrong?" he replied and threw the rag into the dustbin.  
"Yes!" the boy nearly yelled, "Yami, I need your help!"  
"As in how? What's the matter?" he askedsipping some ofthe coffee to steady himself, this was a bit too much at seven o' clock on a Sunday morning.  
"I need you to marry my brother." So much so for cleaning the table.  
"Mokuba! Is this a joke?" he demanded, still spluttering.  
"No, I really need your help! I can't explain here, meet me at the café besides the karaoke bar in fifteen minutes, alright?" The voice really sounded urgent now.  
"Yes but…_why_ can't you tell me now?"  
"Because the telephone might be tapped silly!" With this Mokuba rang off.

Yami gaped down at the beeping telephone in his hand and wondered whether they had any aspirin in the house. This was a _lot_ too much for seven o' clock on a Sunday morning.

* * *

Half an hour later, he was not feeling any better, "Mokuba, apart from everything else, why would your brother consent to marrying me? We were never on friendly terms." Yami was extremely glad to see his coffee and Mokuba's eclair arriving. 

"Well, no," he hesitated then pleadingly he said, "But I know that he really did respect you then whatever he says, and after you when to college and got your degree an' all…he was very impressed that you could do so well. That's whyI asked you instead of Anzu or Jou or someone off the streets who could be bought."

"But what about all those times he said he didn't even believe I existed?" Yami asked, suddenly curious. He knew better than to question Mokuba's knowledge of his brother but he still wasn't really convinced.

Mokuba rolled his eyes, "C'mon, he had to say something to save his pride. My big brother is the best big brother in the world but even he makes mistakes!"

"Quite a few of them, actually," muttered Yami, fighting the urge to lay his head down on the table and simply go to sleep

"Hey! Don't say that about my brother!" Mokuba yelled

"But it's true, I mean that is what this convo' thingy was about, right? The latest mistake your brother made," protested Yami

"Convo' thingy," repeated Mokuba, blinking twice slowly, "You've definitely been hanging around Jou too long, Yami, it shows," then he shook it off and tried to make the puppy-eyes he had been famous for when he was younger, "please Yami…at least think about it, you'll only have to stay married to him for a couple of weeks. I mean, you can divorce the very next day if you guys want to, but or else I'll be stuck with a gold-digging adventuress for a sister-in-law."

"Adventuress," repeated Yami, slightly dazed at theseemingly innocent man's wide vocabulary.

"Yeah, or a brainless harlot!" Mokuba exclaimed throwing his arms up and resting back on his seat sulkily only to jump up a moment later and turn up the puppy eyes again, complete with the shine that meant that he was holding back tears at a very great cost to himself…something like that anyway, Yami wasn't going to try analyzing it.

He shook his head and started drinking his coffee and was going to try making up some excuse, _any excuse_,when he spathis coffeeback out for the third time in an hour.

"Mokuba, I thought I'd see you here.I'm finished with all my work for today, I thought we…_What are you doing here?"_ Yes, Seto Kaiba had arrived. Oh, joy. Yami's head hit the table with a bang.

* * *

I hope everyone liked, I know it's pretty short but it is only the first chapter….all my other chapters are far longer usually.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer, etc. is all in the first chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed

Chapter 2-Wedding Bells For Seto

"Mokuba, what is he doing here? Shouldn't he be in New York or California or wherever he's been working…?" Seto asked when Yami didn't bother to answer.

But Mokuba proved more than equal to the challenge in his brother's tone. "Look niisama! Yami's going to help us so be nice to him." he thrust the newspaper he had been carrying at his brother's face.

After a few seconds Seto looked up from the newspaper with a raised eyebrow, "Mokuba I can see where it is worrying that obesity is going up by 20 but I really don't see how that is our problem. Nor," he added, "how Yami could prevent it from happening."

Yami lifted his head up and looked at Seto wondering at this uncharacteristic patience, it seemed to him like something had changed about the boy. He looked him over carefully, hardly noting Mokuba grab the folded newspaper and unfolding it before handing it back to his bother, and then Yami saw what was nagging at him, there were lines on the proud face. Lines that clearly showed days and nights of endless work and worry and a slight hunch to his back that meant that he had been bent over paperwork quite recently.

Yami unconsciously frowned, the boy had always been a workaholic but he would never have imagined that he would grow up to become an old man at 23 years of age. He was brought out of his reverie by a loud growl of, "What is this nonsense?"

Glancing down to see the very article he had been reading that morning, he asked, "So you didn't announce this?" wondering whether he really shouldn't be feeling a bit more surprised, 'No, not really, it never did seem the sort of thing he might do, but if he didn't say it then…?'

"No, of course I didn't announce any of this bull…," he glanced at Mokuba and corrected himself, "I didn't say anything of this sort and when I find out who said I did I'll make sure they regret it for the remainder of their _very_ short life,"

"You can't do that, big brother," Mokuba replied, exasperatedly, "Everyone will just think you're chickening out, besides this challenge has been a great draw. Sales of the new dating simulation have already skyrocketed."

"So what do you think I should do?" though from what he could see,Yami thought Seto already knew how few his choices were

"Well, it's been nice seeing you Mokuba, I hope I'll see you again before my holiday is over," he politely excused himself, hoping against hope that Mokuba wouldn't dare to admit to his brother that he was plotting to get him married.

"But you have to propose to my brother," Mokuba hissed. No such luck, Yami mentally sighed and waited for the outburst

"He's going to what?" Seto asked dangerously softly

"You have to marry Yami so that everyone thinks that he's won the bet, then no one will bother to try to find anything out about our past. Besides you two can always divorce later,"

"I am not going to marry him!" this, contrary to his previous sentence was said in a shout which made the whole café turn to look at them.Yami quickly nodded his agreement but told Seto, "Shout a little louder Kaiba, someone back in California might not have heard you." Which Seto, _of course_, took as an invitation to start glaring at him.

And when they heard one old woman telling someone who looked like her granddaughter "It's only a lovers' tiff, dear, they'll get over it soon enough," it was the last straw and Yami intended to leave. He was going to walk out of the café. He really_ was _so it was quite the strain to figure out why he was currently sitting on top of Seto with what seemed to be a mound of chocolate all over them.

"Get off me Mutou," he heard the husky growl and decided to leave his speculations till later.

He jumped up and was immediately swamped by many waiters and the manager of the café apologizing for the accident, the person who had caused it and probably for the poor guy's birth too. And the rest of the crowd was squealing and asking him how well he knew Seto, which reminded him. Yami looked around and saw Seto in the same situation and Mokuba trying to get all three them out of the crowd. Seto did not look very happy, 'I wonder how long it'll take him to explode,' he mused aimlessly, trying to block his ears at the same time, 'I'll count till, 1..2..3!'

No sooner had he thought three that a strong hand caught his wrist and propelled him forcefully out of the place and didn't stop until they were all in a secluded place near the woods.

Yami gingerly massaged his wrist and wondered whether it was broken or merely sprained, "You should try out for cross-country, Kaiba!" he said suddenly breaking out in chuckles as he remembered albeit vaguely the faces of the fangirls as the three of them ran like bats out of hell

He could only laugh harder at the strange looks the Kaiba brothers were giving him, "So the demented punk with multiple personalities and multi-colored hair has finally lost it," sneered Seto

"Just say 'Yami' _Seto_, it'll make the whole sentence a lot more comprehensible," he emphasized the other man's name

Seto rolled his eyes, "Because now you know all the big terms," he retorted

"Exactly!" Yami replied, rolling his eyes

"See, it was meant to happen, you two are supposed to get married," a forgotten Mokuba piped up

"And how, pray tell me, do you figure that one?" Seto asked, smirking

"You're fighting like an old married couple even before the wedding, and you're insulting each other in ways so that no one else can even understand how you're being insulting!" Mokuba answered with a mirroring smirk causing an uncanny resemblance between the two brothers.

"Mokuba? That didn't make any sense," This was from theconfused Yami

"We are not getting married and that's final!" was growled out by the thunder-faced Seto  
"Quite a few girls back there asked me for your cell phone number," Mokuba smiled in a charming manner at his brother

* * *

"So is it going to be a registry wedding or a church wedding?" Yugi questioned with his sweet smile, he and Anzu were engaged but wouldn't be getting married until the next year at the least. Meanwhile, both of them seemed to have learnt just about everything to do with weddings, which was silly but still rather endearing from where Yami was standing.

"Not exactly either, I mean no reporters or anything are going to be there but Mokuba's convinced Seto to wait until the rest of the gang can get leave and come to the wedding. It's only us, really, and some of Mokuba's friends and I asked Toni and his twin in the last e-mail."

"But no one excepting me and Yugi here know that it's fake?" Grandpa asked

Yami shook his head, "The fewer people to know the better, and it's only for a few months. I'll tell everyone the truth after the divorce,"

"So you're going to have a divorce? Yugi questioned

"Yes of course, I mean it's just that I'm doing him a favor." Yami shrugged carelessly

"But I don't see how you can make such vows without being in love," Yugi looked at his aibou with a raised eyebrow, an unsettling habit he had recently caught from goodness knew who.

"Love you say? Well, love is another matter," Yami quoted then grinned unexpectedly, "Ne, Yugi, you'll find no professions of love here!"

He stood up and absent-mindedly brushed off the cookie crumbs on his life and went out of the kitchen.

Grandpa smiled after him knowingly and rather sadly, 'My dear child, you have had to grow up so quickly that you missed some parts of life altogether. Kaiba has had to do the same but still, I think you'll be good for each other. For you I will forgive him.'

Then he slowly stood up and made his way to the shop where he still liked to sit even if he didn't work anymore. He had asked Yugi to stay in the apartment on top of the shop until Anzu came, even though they could now afford much better because he felt that he was too old to adjust to something new but now, looking around at the familiar scene he could feel the wind of change blowing and his old bones suddenly didn't seem quite so tired.

* * *

Well, that certainly didn't make much sense. Anyway…I hope everyone who's still reading liked it and I won't apologize for the long wait because I will only be updating every two-three weeks until the hols next month. It's senseless to say 'sorry' and 'I won't do it again' when I know I will. I'm afraid that if anyone wants faster updates then the story's quality will drop. Thank you, everyone who bothered to read this.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Reception's A Pain

"We are not having a reception!" Seto and Yami glared at each other after sayin…er screaming it in unison.

Mokuba felt like doing a bit of screaming and glaring himself, _'Finally they find something they agree on, and it had to be this!'_ Scratch that, he was already dividing his –most impressive- glowers between his pig-headed big brother, and his soon-to-be brother-in-law. So he felt like indulging himself and wrapping the whole thing up nicely, "Well, then I'll go and tell Yugi that you two are having problems deciding on the wedding details, shall I? I mean the reception counts as a part of the whole hog, doesn't it?" Mokuba smiled, oh-so-sweetly. He knew how hyper Yugi could get when the word wedding was mentioned near him- in fact, anywhere within a five mile radius of him, Mokuba had experimented.

And the older boys knew it too, didn't they just! "Your brother is truly evil, Seto," Yami muttered

Seto glared at his brother and replied, "We'll plan revenge later, shall we? I vote for boiling him over a slow fire."

"No, let's skin him with a blunt knife," Yami suggested

Seto mused over that, then said "Or we could always…"

"Enough, already! Mokuba interrupted in a grumpy manner most reminiscent of his brother, "I think Yami got the drift!"

'_So that's the second thing, they agree on, oh joy! Let's all bond on playing how-to- frustrate-Mokuba-to-death. Or any other way for that matter,'_ he added with a groan as the two older men went on discussing extremely painful ways of relieving anyone of their life and limbs, they didn't even have the decency to whisper._

* * *

_Yami sighed inwardly, in relief, as his best friends Toni and Tesha finally moved to talk to someone else, probably Yugi or Ryou, perhaps Shizuka. All five of them had hit it off very well. He was grateful that Yugi tried to keep them away from him, '_I mean I love them, really I do but there's only so many "I hope you'll be happy together," that one can take. Bad enough coming from one's friends, but I swear I'll scream if one more, just one more stranger comes up and…'_

"Hello, my dear," a woman wearing what was traditionally known as an evening gown _'Perhaps the heroine of one of those Cinderella stories?' _Yami reflected.

"You two do look nice together, I suppose," the woman chattered on, oblivious

'_Nah, nose is about two inches too far in the air," _for some strange reason, Yami suddenly felt like giggling hysterically.

"Of course, I'm not quite sure I approve of all this, but he does seem to be in love with you…" she seemed completely oblivious to Yami's fake, theatrical smile and twitching fingers.

'_Make that about two feet too far,' _Yami tried to collect himself into something resembling normalcy, "My dear lady, I'm so sorry to have to leave this enchanting conversation but…" he frantically searched for some excuse to run away and never return or, failing that, to put a bit of distance between himself and this woman. Nothing much, only about five hundred miles. The most unexpected person of all came to his rescue, a warm hand settled around his waist "I apologize for this interruptiom, but I really must steal my wife away from you," Seto said in his smooth, rich voice. The smile on his face was the perfect mixture of emotions, a slight apology, some happiness and a bit of excitement which couldn't quite be suppressed.

Yami felt his own lips break into a soft smile despite being called soneone's 'wife', and ruefully admitted to himself that it probably was hard to believe that they weren't madly in love, even little Yugi had started ribbing him about how little he was objecting to the marriage idea. When Seto was like this it was so easy to forget that they fought on an almost minutely basis.

'_Not' _Yami added to himself, smile rapidly becoming a smirk, _'that it's not fun, but you can't build a relationship on it,'_ Yami shook his head and tried to get rid of his wistful thoughts, but the atmosphere of the wedding reception, his wedding reception was so happy, so fairy-tale like that he felt very lonely every time he remembered that there was no happily-ever-after in store for him. After all, five thousand years was a long time to spend alone.

He pulled himself out of his thoughts to see that they were now on a balcony over looking the back of the mansion, which was mostly running wild with woodland. Seto had closed the sliding translucent doors and steered him to one side of the dark niche. He removed his hand and breathed a sigh, beside him, Yami leaned against the railing.

He closed his eyes and let the calmness around him still most of his thoughts. In this state, he felt almost comfortable with his…husband. A slight breeze picked up "Thank you for the rescue, Seto."

"Whatever, it would be strange if newly-weds didn't want to spend time alone," was the cool reply. Yami could dimly hear thunder rumbling and some small part of his brain telling him to leave it be; to not disturb the peace, but the past three hours had drained his self-control.

"Just say, 'you're welcome'. It's only two words, you know." Yami snapped

"Unfortunately for you, you are not welcome!" was the frozen answer

"Would it kill you to be nice for once?" Yami stood up straight and opened his eyes. Now, Seto could see the shadows and anger turning his crimson eyes almost black. He sucked his breath in sharply, Yami stood like shinigami, his head thrown back proudly, the blue-black sky framing his tanned face blonde and red bangs just as perfectly, too perfectly, it was a seductive sight.

His eyes widened as he realized what direction his thoughts were taking- he put as much bite as he could into his next words, "No, it wouldn't. But, it might very well kill me to be nice to the wrong person." The emphasis on the last two words was so obvious it was only the practice of many years that kept Seto from gaping when Yami laughed.

"Someday, pigs may fly, the earth may become flat or there may be a cold day in hell; but you, my Priest will never change!"

He nodded companionably to the brunette and stepped out, and Seto came stumbling after. And somewhere, dimly, he heard the rain falling.

* * *

"We'll take it in turns, fine?" Seto growled, exhausted.

"Oh, and don't you think your maids might find it a bit funny? Or do you clean this room yourself?" Yami added the last part with an inward smirk; he knew very well Seto was far too busy to do anything of that sort.

"By the time they come in, I'm always gone so it won't matter! Besides, what business is it of theirs whether we sleep on the bed or the balcony!" Seto snapped

"Are you planning to spend the week sleeping on the balcony?" Yami questioned with well-emulated surprise

"Are you planning to get murdered?" retorted Seto

"Look, I'll be spending another week here at least, right? Yami asked, tired of the bickering. It had been a long day and he wanted to sleep. Seto nodded grudgingly.

"Well, I don't plan to spend half of that time with cramped muscles and you don't seem to be too eager for it either, so let's both sleep on the bed. I promise not to bite," he added mischievously.

Seto looked as if he was going to have a blue fit. Yami suddenly noticed that he seemed to be really panicked. He seriously stated, "Your bed's big enough, we won't even touch if you sleep on that side and I sleep on this." He patted the side nearest to him, Seto looked as if he was softening so Yami quickly added, "Please, Seto, I don't want to get up at five o' clock for the next seven days because your maids might come in and see me on the floor." He said it in a wheedling tone he had heard from his aibou. He had a feeling it might work.

Seto nodded reluctantly, "Alright, but you're sleeping on the couch during the honeymoon." He strode purposefully into the bathroom.

As soon as the door was closed, Yami smirkled gleefully and did a small jig mentally. _'No more talk of sleeping on the floor, thank Ra it's a big bed. Forget abo…wait-'_ "HONEYMOON?"

* * *

"It's expected for newly-wed couples to go on a honeymoon." Seto said with dangerous calm, "So, we are going on a honeymoon and that's final!" He sipped a bit of his black coffee and prayed to whatever gods might be, for patience.

"At least you're playing the part of the Victorian husband wonderfully well," Yami snapped back. "What are you going to do if I don't go, lock me up?"

"Look, what's your objection?" Seto said suddenly tired, he'd had only a few hours of sleep the night before and he suspected that Yami had not had much more. "We're going to Nagano which is where you work, I've planned it so you might not even have to come back here, we'll just say that we loved that place so much, we couldn't bear to come back. I've planned everything carefully, what's your problem?" he repeated

Yami sat down across the table from Seto, finished his breakfast and idly noted that the clean-up people had done a very good job. "How am I going to explain to my friends?" he asked, trying to keep up the angry façade though he had noticed again how painfully thin Seto really was. Far more even than he had thought in the café.

"Explain what? Our marriage?" Seto snorted as Yami remained silent, "It's been in every national daily newspaper in the whole country if not everywhere. They'll know by now, they'll have drawn their own conclusions."

Yami slowly asked, "What do I say to them when we're divorced?"

Seto shrugged and took up the business part of the newspaper again, "Just tell them it didn't quite jell out, or something like that, they'll fill in the gaps believe me,"

Yami was about to start yelling at being brushed off yet again, then suddenly he smiled wickedly though Seto didn't notice, he would have been very suspicious if he had. Yami went into the kitchen. 'There are more than one ways to skin a rat,' he thought contentedly. And thus started the Prank War, which would awe adults and scare children for many Ages to come, and when humans were a forgotten page in the history of the Universe, when the Milky Way Galaxy was dust and rock, then the Prank War would become, first legend, then myth.

Well, not really but it did make Grandpa almost jump out of his skin (so he says) and Mokuba tried to get his brother and brother-in-law committed to an asylum out of exasperation. Thank God Yugi was there!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Prank War Ahoy!

"Mokuba!" Seto yelled, storming into the house at least three hours earlier than he had ever come home before.

'Uh oh,' was all that was going through Mokuba's mind as he raced down the stairs feeling like a thirteen year old again.

"What's wrong, niisama?" Mokuba asked when he finally reached his brother, Mokuba wasn't sure whether to back away slowly from the piece of thundercloud pretending to be his brother, or offer him a chair because he had heard somewhere that it was best to sit down if you were having apoplexy.

"What's wrong?" Seto screamed, quite unnecessarily since there was only two and a half feet between them, not the two and a half football fields Seto seemed to think there was. Mokuba nodded, uneasily feeling that he had somehow made a _faux pas_, so to say.

"Seto! Back so early, not for poor little me, right?" a deep voice drawled from the bottom stair. While Seto was still spluttering, he added, with concern, "How did you like the lunch I cooked you? I thought I'd made it very nicely,"

"You cooked that?" Seto's voice was suddenly very calm and controlled, a danger sign if there ever was one. Mokuba's brain was telling him to run, his legs on the other hand were contented to do a first-class imitation of jell-o.

"Why, yes," Yami shrugged, then smirked "My own recipe, quite unique, isn't it?"

Mokuba could practically see his brother's mind racing ahead from the need to shed blood to a more…_satisfying_ method than actual shedding of blood.

"Why, yes," Seto mimicked Yami's tone and formal behavior, "But since you have been so kind as to make this…food for me, why don't I return the favor. Perhaps we could go out shopping? I'm sure you have plenty of things you must want to buy before we go on our honeymoon."

Yami's eyes narrowed but he nodded just once, then stepped back up the stairs while Seto went through the door that led to the dining room. It seemed, Mokuba reflected, more like an acceptance to a challenge than an acceptance to a favor, then his eyes widened in realization, and he groaned, loudly.

* * *

He would not give up, he simply would not allow that bastard to win, Yami struggled through for a few more steps before he chose life and limb over honor and fled for the men's room.

There he rested his head in his hands and thought over the day- first Seto had told him that unfortunately, since he had a lot of work, he would not be able to accompany Yami but Yami should go without him as he wouldn't want him to miss the trip. He had of course forgotten to mention that today was the day when the mall was having its special 50 percent off on all goods offer that it had every eighth week. Consequently he had also forgotten to mention that the mall would be packed with twice its holding capacity, especially since that one family he had seen (Mother, father, granddad and the little ones-all seven of 'em) probably took up at least half of the mall all by themselves.

Not that it kept the workers busy; they seemed to have all the time in the world to flirt with him, they simply did not understand the meaning of "Thank you but I am not _interested_." And everyone was desperate to get to the expensive things that they could never have afforded on a normal day. After Yami had been punched, pinched, snarled at and even had his hair pulled he decided to give up.

His headache, he noticed, did not seem to be following his example. Then he calmed down, settled back against the door and smiled darkly, the battle may be lost but the war was far from over. And this was war, he swore to himself. His plotting in the bathroom was only interrupted when someone from outside yelled, "You joker inside, whoever you are, there're other people who want to use the bathroom, get off the door."

* * *

Seto let out a sound that could only be called a growl, though not anywhere in his hearing. He looked down at his conspicuously empty briefcase and wondered for a moment whether it would make for a good case of justifiable homicide.

* * *

Yami stormed down the stairs to the dining room only to discover from the servants that Seto had risen even earlier than usual and gone to his office. He also, a note Yami had missed in his haste, informed him; would not be back until very late- possibly after midnight. Yami believed that. What he did not believe was that a problem had conveniently come up so that Seto could keep out of his way for a good few hours right after he had replaced his hair gel with hand-cream!

* * *

Seto simply gaped at the twelve dozen flowers (each of a different and distinctive species) that were scattered in various places in (he suspected porcelain) vases in _his office_. Now he knew why every girl in the whole building had been giggling when they saw him. Including his PA whom he had hired because she was the next best thing to a computer. He would never live this one down.

* * *

Yami stomped out of the house to the nearest café he could find so that he could get a cup of coffee, all of the coffee in the house had mysteriously disappeared overnight as if there had been a visit by a strange monster that stole coffee. Yami had a sneaking suspicion that this coffee-monster was brown-haired, blue-eyed and answered to Kaiba, Seto (by his brother) and occasionally "Moneybags!"

* * *

(_This was the point at which Mokuba began looking up lunatic asylums and inquiring whether they had space for two more people. _Separate_ rooms, or buildings, preferably planets.)_

"Move," Seto growled

"No," Yami replied, smirking in the challenging manner Seto had become so used to during the past few days.

"Listen, you mentally retarded ghost, I am not interested in being your pillow, so unless you haven't quite mastered modern languages yet, I see no point in continuing this discussion," Seto snapped

Yami hid the small flash of hurt and fear that provoked, even nowadays he sometimes dreaded that one day he would wake up an…best not go there "But wouldn't it be surprising if a couple on their honeymoon did not even want to touch each other?" answered Yami cheerfully, almost reminiscent of Yugi, "Come, beloved husband, you can continue typing later," with that he took Seto's left hand hostage and promptly fell asleep.

Seto resisted the urge to growl; it was rapidly becoming a habit and he rubbed his forehead with his free hand. After a few minutes of fruitlessly trying to work with only one hand and spiky hair in front of his face, he shut down his laptop, might as well save the battery life, he might not be able to recharge it at the hotel they were going to stay at. He irritably shook his head when the stewardess hesitantly approached him and ignored the envious glance she gave him after looking at Yami.

It made him feel … the way he felt when anyone near him talked about how they would like to have a Blue-Eyes White Dragon, or how he had felt when the people at the orphanage had wanted to separate him from his brother. He looked down and noticed Yami furrowing his brow and trying to get away from the bright light coming through the window. He had told the idiot to sit in the aisle , thought that had been mostly so he could be the one being annoyed by random people recognizing him, so why did he never listen? Seto reached out and closed the blinds, and was glad when Yami looked a little more peaceful, and hated himself for being so. This was only going to make things that much more difficult.

Which was why he told himself to ignore it, or wake him up when Yami started whimpering in his sleep. Instead he reluctantly- wishing that he was anywhere or anywhen other than the current situation- raised a hand and brushed it through rough looking locks that were actually amazingly soft to the touch. Yami once again quietened and this time did not disturb Seto again.

He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep and was very glad he had woken up before the other man had had a chance to. Then the horribly cheerful sound of someone telling them to buckle up their seatbelts because they were nearly at their destination, and would be landing in fifteen minutes came again and he shook awake Yami who was still cuddling against him, deliberately Seto knew, to annoy him.

Though he did look rather appealing doing it and not for the first time Seto cursed whatever deity existed for the day he had met him and the rest of the freak-show. Then they stepped off the plane and searching for the car that was supposed to meet them and their luggage (which, as usual, came piecemeal) kept his mind off his obsession with the man beside him which years of separation had somehow done nothing to disperse.

The hotel was very large, very grand and very, in Yami's humble opinion, excessive. The look on Seto's face told him that they were in full agreement. The prompt service was a relief after almost two hours on the plane, the furnishings in the (so they were informed) special honeymoon suite was not. In fact, it was, as Seto stated quite loudly, an eyesore. "What was Mokuba thinking?"

Yami smiled sheepishly, "Ah, I rather think he asked Yugi for advice,"

"Now, what do we do?"

"Enjoy it?"

"Enjoy it?" Seto repeated, "This!" he gestured so violently that Yami just barely missed having an eye knocked out

"It could have been worse,"

Seto snorted disbelievingly, "Worse than pink and purple glitter on the _windows_?"

Yami nodded, "Yes, there could have been hearts on the bedcover and matching cushions with a loveseat, and dried mistletoe on the door, and a pink-colored dressing table, and..."  
Here he had to stop and laugh at the horrified look on Seto's face.  
"So this is what the big bad CEO does when faced with a bit of pink?" he teased

"A bit?" Seto replied though Yami could see the tracing of a smirk on his lips and in his eyes, "If I'd known about this room before then I would have bought stock in pink and purple paint, the floor alone must have several hundred pounds worth."

"And this marvelous bed which has about five meters of silver and purple trimming," added Yami falling back onto the bed

"The lovely canopy which surely has twice that," Seto replied, getting into the mood of the game. The he passed a hand over his face and said, "You should clean up; we're going to have dinner downstairs in about half-an-hour,"

"Says who?" Yami protested

"Stop being childish," Seto snapped, brief moment of brevity already over

Yami frowned at Seto's back as he got ready to go to the bathroom, then he smiled "Did Yugi tell you that I loved dominant men? He promised he wouldn't"

'Oh god,' Yami thought distantly, 'I've never seen that shade of brick-red before.'

* * *

I absolutely promise that I will have the next chapter up before April ends. Yus. Cross my heart and hope to live.


End file.
